Author: admin

My Autobiography, Shoreless Infinite, talks about the four dimensions of an individual and how I journeyed taking care of myself and teaching it to the family. The book amplifies the importance of Parenting, professional triumphs, balance, life with meaningful relationships, and the spiritual discovery leading to bliss. The author cautions not to forget the importance of balance when life becomes busy. Connecting with the Universe and developing a let-go attitude can usher the Universe to bring infinite abundance to all with evolved consciousness.

Shoreless Infinite is available on Amazon, as mentioned below.

Amazon India: https://amzn.to/3D34Be3
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Do we understand the choices we have made have created our lives? Choices have results. We cannot blame anyone for the results. It’s been our choice, and we need to take ownership.
Once we trust the power we have over our lives, our choices have the power to change our lives. Let’s begin by playing a game on ourselves to examine our choices.
Take one specific segment of your life that is not much working for you. Start focusing and be more conscious of the choices you are making. Now, better the choices by opening yourself to many options. It works best when universal goodness prevails and negative feelings and thoughts, like hatred and revenge, are eliminated. Slowly, you will find results trickling in. Make different choices to get yourself moving. It could be an insignificant choice but still do it. Do it every day in different ways. Your journey has begun for the better.
Don’t be overwhelmed by what you want to change. It’s challenging to change everything about the problem at once. You have to move slowly with baby steps every day. You will see that the overwhelming tasks are becoming doable. And there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Let us recreate our lives and live through our choices.

Frequent travels globally (Pre covid) and recent travel to the U.S. to stay with my children for four months allowed me to unlearn and relearn. These transformative journeys help me foster empowerment, focus, and motivation, thus helping me on my path to mental betterment and the key to real learning. Change rather than stability is what I prefer most of the time. It testifies that my cognitive Health is superior, and I am a functional human who is extraordinarily resilient, creating space for hope, personal growth, and flexibility. 

Cognitive Health? It is Brain Health that helps each one of us to think, learn, and remember aspects in performing everyday activities. It includes the Motor function — how well we control movements, including balance; the Emotional quotient — how well we are capable of interpreting and responding to emotions – both pleasant and unpleasant and the Tactile function how we feel and respond to sensations of touch like temperature, pressure, pain, etc. Social Isolation, Poor Diet, lack of physical activity, smoking, Drinking, and Physical and mental health problems could pose risks to cognitive Health.

Have we ever observed that “Cognitive distortions “developed and practiced by us are our inside patterns, and we lead our lives according to them? The thoughts are stubborn and become ingrained within us, refusing to budge. If we are aware of such thoughts, we can combat the distortions.  It is Changing your Cognitive Distortions to Change your Life. The best word in my vocabulary is “Cognitive reconstruction.” I examine myself and others in my profession through Cognitive Restructuring methods, which help me identify, challenge, and replace faulty thinking with more accurate, helpful, and positive ways of thinking. Psychologists use this method to examine our ability to view a situation from different perspectives. They say, “How we feel emotionally is not the result of what happens to us, but instead, it’s the result of how we think about what happens to us.” This means that “we can change the way we feel by changing the way we think’ Cognitive restructuring encourages people to halt and seek the evidence for their belief. If there is no evidence, then it shows that not every thought or emotion is not necessarily true.  

A thought follows every situation a person undergoes, chased by emotion, and shows in the behavior. There are many techniques in Cognitive restructuring. I want to cite real cases as examples and how we can adapt to cognitive restructuring.  

The first situation:   Freshers from colleges say, “The Job Market is not open to Freshers as they demand experience.”

   Situation: A fresher does not get a job 

   Thought: Rationalizing lack of Experience, Reactive. 

   Emotion: Angry, Anxious, Sad.  

   Behavior: Withdrawal symptoms, negative feelings about the market, Hopeless, 

   Alternate Thought/ Action:

• Maintain good social media Profiles.
• Identify companies that require the freshers’ skill sets.
• Get job referrals.
• Get Experience through internships and freelancing. 

The second situation: 

   Situation: My 4-and-a-half-year-old grandson had to change to another branch of his Montessori school in Chicago because of his Parent’s new house change. 

   Thought: Losing his batch of 5 dear friends

   Emotion: Sad, angry 

   Behavior: Refused to go to School every day, refused to eat, threw tantrums, and cried frequently. 

   Alternate Thought/ Action:   Parents Encouraged play dates with old friends by maintaining Friendships, sleeping over during weekends with his old friends, Facilitated making new Friends in the School and neighborhood, Parents spoke to the child about their Reasons for Moving and that, as Parents, they care about his feelings. 

 

 I have witnessed experienced employees in organizations responsible for stagnating and creating a non-stimulating environment. They often kill ideas under the guise of fostering the organization. Rather than having Experience inform their choices, Experience has defined their options. Oh boy! I started contemplating. I quote a writer who says, “Experience is one of the main obstacles to Cognitive Health. The ability to unlearn determines our success more than our ability to learn.”

Edward De Bono in Lateral Thinking suggests that when asked with YES or NO answer, we might respond with PO means possibility. Hundreds of options turn out with the term PO. Mind is our ally. In Sanskrit, we use Devta for mental structures. We can use the Devta aspect of our mind to build and keep on building. Our creativity will never cease. Experience has to wage battle against Routine, Repetition, and Boredom. Why dread when “Each moment offers you a choice”? Let us refresh our brains with new neural networks so we don’t stagnate.

“Put on a Learner’s mind when you get dressed every day, and your life will change for the better.”

References: 

a. The complete guide to Cognitive Restructuring https://nickwignall.com/cognitive-restructuring/

b. https:// theperformatist.com/psychological skills

Harvard Business Review Says the Best Leaders Have a Contagious Positive Energy. The most significant predictor of Success for leaders is not their charisma, influence, power, personality, attractiveness, or innovative genius. It is their Positive relational energy. This energy is the one that supersedes all factors. The energy exchanged between people helps uplift, enthuse, and renew them. 

We have seen many examples of Leaders in International, National, political, economic, corporate, sports, and different regimes where each of them has made an impact through their own devised style to inspire, encourage, make a difference, and have led by example through Love, Optimism, Belief in Team, Accountability to standards, principles, values, culture and have proved what exemplary Leadership is all about. 

I recently had to train a group of Leaders, and the Management was very particular that the training program should be titled “Strategically Unreasonable Leadership.” Though challenging, the topic was exciting. I remembered the Romans quote: “Mind governed by Flesh leads to Death. A mind governed by spirit leads to Life.”  

 If we remember, in 1996, Bobby Fischer, one of the world’s best Chess Players, proposed a rule change. The game he called Chess 960, where the black pieces were randomly mixed up, made it impossible to preplan the game. Players with 960 potential opening boards had to rely on their skills and on-the-spot thinking to win. Players had never seen such a board and had never had such an experience and started trying out new methods to innovate, and instead of just memorizing moves, they had to do much manipulation. Being used to autopilot mode, most of us are pushed into the Comfort Zone and then slide into the Lazy Zone. It’s time we start scrambling our back rows.

Thanks to Craig Groeschel, whom I have been following for some time. He says strategically unreasonable leaders can make a difference anywhere because they have a higher cause, a more profound passion, and a burning desire. They function not to add a temporary value but to make a difference that will outlast them as leaders—identifying WHAT your WHAT is the first step. How comes later? 

What did British-led India need? It was Gandhiji’s WHAT question. The HOW part came later. Gandhiji was strong enough as a leader, so the HOW found its way.

Prime Minister Lee Kuan Yew was in Leadership when Singapore got its independence. He struggled to build the Country’s infrastructure, create jobs, and manufacture products. In his address, Lee Kuan Yew said he is settling on two strategies. The first was the Leap Frog strategy (an organization/company jumps ahead of its competitor’s level of performance), where the Country would attract multi-national companies into Singapore. The 2nd was to make Singapore a first-world Oasis, which meant the people in Singapore would live like first-world Citizens. Singapore was fortunate to have Lee Kuan Yew, known for his “Strategically Unreasonable Leadership.” This leadership style fulfilled momentum, speed, risk, excitement, passion, intuition, and unreasonable dreams. A learning curve drives the message that Growth and comfort never co-exist. 

Leadership failure is a price that leaders and their Teams, most of the time, pay to succeed. Failure for “Strategically Unreasonable Leaders is not an option. But a Necessity. For them, it is better to fail actively rather than not try. They consider the rule that you are playing too safe if you are not failing.  

We are used to thinking that more possessions, bigger budgets, more time, and additional resources determine Success. But Scott Sonenshein, in his book ‘Stretch’ explains how everyone from Executives to Entrepreneurs, parents, and athletes perform better with constraints. This is one of the remarkable qualities of “Strategically Unreasonable Leaders too- Embracing limitations. The leaders believe that regulations drive innovation because the Team embraces the existing resources and finds ways to become more creative and productive to solve problems, innovate, and fully engage in their work and lives.

 I can cite an iconic example of a strategically unreasonable Leader Dabo Swinney, the American football coach. The Players loved him, and the Players also knew that Dabo loved them. Dabo held each player accountable and drove them to do their best. He said, “If you love someone, don’t let them settle for mediocrity. You are going to push them to achieve and unearth their potential. You have to challenge them. They will rise. ”  

This is the Leadership model I am fascinated, talking about, and following.